Sunday, 3 January 2016

Trying New Things

Trying New Things
When you have depression you'll often get told to try doing new things so I've been thinking about  what  I try to do when I'm on  a low.

Video games:
Most of the time I escape into video games old ,new  and ancient it doesn't matter I just jump into the game and my mind is more on killing the other players or capturing/completing an objective. It's not the best way to deal with it if I'm honest  although  it does make me hit a kind of middle ground where  I'm to tired of play video games to care about how low I'm feeling. It kind of works as my background helper    because it's lots of tiny virtual accomplishments and it can be social as well.  I use gaming  to keep in touch with a lot of old friends and make new friends.  It's not the most productive activity  but  if I didn't game and take in stories like  Metal Gear Solid, Shinobi 3, Pokemon , Fallout , FarCry , Skyrim  or even Resident Evil  I wouldn't be here today  worse yet I wouldn't be who I  am today.  

I'm not very good at it  half the time I'm not even sure I'm doing it right but it helps if I need to focus or have an important task to complete.  Sometimes I try and block out noise so I'm  in a loud busy house or place but in my head it's silence. Other times  I've tried  isolating sounds   see how far I can hear  and  that helps to a degree.  I don't meditate often  enough  and I need to do some research because I've only read a few books on Buddhism that  gave me a few things to think about during meditation.

Now this is a long term power push thing I do  and I don't really know what causes me to do this I think it's when everything else  isn't working I jump onto my computer and look for alternative methods to dealing with PTSD or the symptoms. When I get a stuck in a rut I tend to not sleep either very well or at all.  So  I have looked into a few methods to deal with the symptoms  so one symptom I was struggling with in November was really horrific nightmares.  I researched the symptom of nightmares  and one of the problems was the lack of control I had in my nightmares  it's like forcing a five year old to watch horror movies none stop.  After a few Google searches (not exactly real research but I feel it was enough)   and I found out about lucid dreaming  which allowed me to have a lot more control,  so even when I'm have a nightmare I can maintain some degree of control they never end badly now. More recently I was having concentration and sleep issues   after looking through a few Google search pages and two research papers  (actual research)  I found out about a supplement  called Ginko Biloba and it has a lot  of good properties for helping with PTSD  it helps with focus and fatigue. this is Day 7 of  using Ginko and I have to say I'm feeling pretty good, I'm not reliant on tons of sleep or no sleep  and I get a few things done and that's been improving each day.

This is a difficult one because it's similar to research  but instead of learning about  PTSD I practice coding I try to better myself instead of looking for temporary fixes and cures. The blog has been a part of that in the long run  because it's me documenting how I get on with life , Identifying the reasons why I've chosen to keep on living and keep moving forward. In the long term no one want a crap life a lot of you reading this right now will be dealing with crap  right now  may have been dealing with crap for months or years but the truth is you don't have to you just need to find out your objectives  set your goals and achieve them. Even if you fail a few times don't worry you will figure it out  and improving yourself mentally and physically  can only ever be good.