Sunday, 27 September 2015

Continuing and giving up

Continuing and giving up 

when you first look at it you may not see a big difference between giving up and choosing not to continue but there is a massive difference between the two. I'm ready with some examples to help explain what I mean to you guys , So you can give up a job and go get another job, you  can give up on a course and  go find another course you can give up on a person and go find  another person  you can't choose not to continue. If you play any games  at all Tekken , Street fighter, Resident evil  or Metal gear solid to name a few  you had the option of continuing and choosing not to continue  if you messed  up   and with depression you can't give up depression you can only continue. The same way you hit yes to continue in any game you played you still had challenges ahead of you,  they didn't go away they didn't get any easier for you they were still there for you to face  and you throw yourself at the these challenges in any game in mario until you understand the level   and you understand how to avoid bowsers koopa troopers and gumbas same with depression every day you wake up and choose to continue this life you throw yourself into the level and yes you won't always succeed first time you won't always find that magical power up or mushroom you need to get you through the level but like with depression that challenges don't disappear  and with depression there are no glitches or cheat codes for you to rely on  but you can get through it.

If you press yes  to continue in tekken and like me you've not kept track of how many fights you've had you don't know if you have ten fights ahead of you or one really hard fight ahead of you, you can wake up with depression not knowing if you have a couple of days on a low or what feels like an eternity. I discovered this recently when playing  Bioshock 2  a game a ashamed to say I still haven't played through  I got to the Fontaine futures level  played through a quite a bit of that stage and then my graphics card had a bitch fit and shut down the game loosing my save data I didn't know this until I loaded it up and I was in the Fontaine futures station  at that point I felt so defeated by the game  that  I didn't want to continue and  I realized I'd been there before when I'd been so defeated by  life  I didn't want to continue. Then after a few days thinking about it yeah loading that save data or lack their of defeated me  for a moment  but then I thought I still  want to know how the game turns out  and in the same way  I do that waking up everyday because I want to know how my life turns out.

The more I thought about it the more I could relate it to gaming and not just the things you deal with  while having depression   but the things you miss out on as well, so if you were to ask me what is true happiness  to a person with depression my answer would be "it's like looking  for a really rare pokemon once you find it you've ran out of pokeballs and you're too cautious to believe it's real that you don't want to waste your masterball on it". Gaming has provided me with a deeper meaning to life and I feel like  I'm only scratching the surface with it.

So my message today  and maybe I will start  doing a message of the day  is that the princess is in another castle   and you're almost there, you can't give up you can only continue and if you don't continue you won't know how that really awesome game ends. 

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